A mix of soft snow and fog is creating such an ethereal afternoon here on the hill. Music is playing and a little girl is getting ready for her french class. I like the drive that brings me to madame Sabine's house, where i drop of my little Poet but for a moment afterwards I am lost, who am I when I am not mothering, who am i when i am not running or creating something. Those questions are slowly being answered as i try to navigate this new path.
It is wrong to wish to go back to certain times of certainty and confidence a time where maybe i took happiness and in the moment for granted. Forward, will bring me to a place similar in feeling but how much does the heart crave peace and solid beats. This year, will be one of travel as that side of me stayed dormant last year due to being spread to thin. right now I feel as if there is so much of me to give, but no clear recipient or vessel other than my darling to catch it all.
Again i find myself wanting to do something beyond what benefits me. The hill needs so much of my attention and i can not wait to make it all shiny and new again. I have been working on a project that if successful will teach me so much about the merge of past and future- helping to create a balance i often seem to lack in my personal path.
Today it is the keys of the piano that has me feeling all sorts of things and this image i took of Poet the other day as we traveled across the mountain with our recovering bodies and sat at a cafe. I spotted the light and before i could say anything this little being ran to it and then i suddenly forgot where the light source was coming from, i remembered it was all her…..